Music? We already talked about that.
Books? We will have a theme about this later.
My yarn and stash? They aren’t my best friend. They are my stress-reliever.
Aah! I know! Brownie! My teddy bear!
Aah… No. I bet they want us to talk about human best friend. Hahahaha… Let’s talk about that one. I will talk about best friend without revealing names (because I don’t want any of them read this and find that their name isn’t the one I mention in my post).
I actually realize this not long ago. I don’t have that many friends nor best friends. But… I definitely can distinguish them. Which people I percieve as my best friends and which people aren’t. How I do it is by sitting with them and having conversations. IF I can speak so many thing even without being asked and told them about what lies deep in my heart (my worries, my problem or MY FEELING), they are definitely my best friend. If not, then you are just a friend to me. This might sounds weird, but to me… It’s valid.
I always identify myself as sociopath. Not that I like to manipulate, deceit, aggressive, or can’t empathize toward others. I have difficulties to approach others. It’s a path(ology) on social(izing) (Pffffttt! Whatever it is! I’m introvert, I don’t like socializing).
This condition makes me barely have friends. I have that ability to communicate with others, getting to know others. I just not that easily to believe in anyone to put their name on my friendlist. I know, I have this life philosophy that totally different with how I deal with others ( “All human are innocent, until proven otherwise” ). But still… I can’t make everyone my best friend. Friend? Maybe. Best friend? Not so fast!
I happened to ask my middle high school students about “what is the main difference between friend and best friend?”. One of them told me that best friend having so much connection to ourself, while friend is just someone I know more than just a name or where they live. I actually agree with that. A best friend can speak so many words even without saying anything.
I realize this when a long time friend, which I thought she is one of my best friend called me and we’re having a chat on the phone. She talked about eeeevery single things happened in her life while I just listened to it and replying adequately. When she finished her stories, she often asked me, “how about you? What you’ve been up to?” And none of that words came out from my mouth. I never been able to answer to that kind of question. Sometimes I don’t think she is actually interested in my story, sometimes I think she just trying to make speech to give her time before she tell me another story of hers. I’m not hate it. There definitely a people that allowed you to have passive role and put you as listeners to all of their concern. But I might put it this way: “I am her best friend, she isn’t mine”.
A best friend to me is someone I can tell all of my thought. Sounds cliché, but it is so important to me. Without being asked, I can tell them everything. Even thoughts and things that appeared deep inside my mind. I have some of people that allowed me to become noisy, talkative and perhaps, the thought of me as a story teller. They are my best friend (even though I don’t know if I am their best friend or not). But when I have this kind of person treating me this way, I will try to keep them in my life, as long as I can. Don’t worry about me being an active listener to them. I always can do this part. It’s just I need to know the other person can do this role for me in order to make this friend-relationship works.
So… To people I called “My Best friend”. Thank you for listening to my thoughts, my concern, even small talks that reeeeally has no meaning. When you give me the opportunity to become myself without judge or say to my face, “My life is way more interesting that yours”, it’s the time that I would do anything to you. Because you make me feel I am something. I will give you my forever friendship, anything you need (as long as I am able to help you), until you betrayed it (I just wish that day wouldn’t never come). Until then… Let’s have this exciting friendship for a long time.
Thank you
And I love you♡
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