Review: Mori Hoshi - Everything Becomes F

 

Biasanya sih nunggu beberapa bulan untuk beli buku barunya Penerbit Haru, tapi pas dapet diskonan di tanggal kembar, jadi langsung beli. Buku ini masuknya cetakan pertama bahasa Indonesia, jadi aku masih memaklumi kalo di buku ini ada banyak typoo-nya. Baaaaaaaaaaanyak banget typoo-nya. Aku merasa ini buku terbitan Haru yang paling banyak typoo-nya, entah kenapa.

Sebenarnya ceritanya bagus banget. Tokoh utamanya dua orang, tapi yang lebih dieksplor adalah proses berpikirnya Sohei Saikawa. Untungnya ini novel, segala sesuatunya harus dibayangkan. Karena baca Saikawa-sensei merokok dimanapun, kapanpun, rasanya... Sesak napas. Tapi... Karena rokok itu dia bisa berpikir luar biasa. Bukan sebuah pembenaran, tapi... Memang begitu jalan ceritanya. Rokok itu buruk bagi kesehatan, Saikawa-sensei juga ngomong begitu kok. Bahkan saat Moe Nishinosono mau nyoba, ga pernah diizinin.

Kalo ngomongin jalan cerita, sperti kebanyakan novel iya-mishu dari Penerbit Haru lainnya, buku ini juga punya plot twist yang bikin melongo. Nggak kepikiran sampe sana kalo ceritanya bakalan begitu. Dan aku sih nggak berusaha menebak karena aku tipenya yang menikmati kecurigaan dan menikmati proses, jadi lanjut aja terus bacanya sampe halaman 444.

Yaaaaa... Ini novel tebel, walau termasuk page turner (nggak berasa 15 menit bisa baca 20-30 halaman atau lebih, aku nggak ngitungin sederil itu). Jadi emang kalo dibawa jalan-jalan rasanya berat banget, tapi untuk dinikmati jalan ceritanya, buku setebel itu emang mendarangkan kepuasan sendiri. Cuma memang karena settingnya lab riset yang penih dengan komputer, jadi banyak percakapan melibatkan bahasa pemrograman. Aku sendiri agak pusing di bagian itu, tapi ga papa. Nggak perlu dipahami semendetil itu. Percaya aja sama apa yang diomongin sama tokoh-tokohnya.

Kesimpulannya, untuk bilang ini buku Penerbit Haru yang paling bagus sih... Nggak ya. Masih ada yg lebih dibandingkan ini. Tapi buku ini worth to read. Saaaangat worth to read. Sangat menghibur, nggak ngebosenin dan nggak slow paced. Kalau memang pencinta novel Asia Timur, bergenre mystery/thriller, buku ini cocok buat jadi TBR selanjutnya.

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To You, Whom I Can Never Hold...

Dear Voice I Shouldn’t Miss,

There you were again—unexpected, yet unmistakable. 

After days of silence, after I told myself I was fine without you… you returned. 

Not with a greeting, not with words meant for me—but just your voice, slipping into the space around me like it never left.

And oh, how it hurt to realize I missed it more than I thought I would.

You probably didn’t notice me. 

Why would you? 

I was just another passerby, while your voice—soft, deep, calm—carried on with purpose. And yet, mine paused. My heart paused. Because for just a moment, it remembered what it shouldn’t.

Your voice was never mine to hold on to.
But it stayed.
It lingered in my memories, in quiet corners of my day, in the way I sometimes dreamed of hearing it again—even when I told myself I had moved on.

I know better now. 

I know I shouldn’t cling to the echo of something that was never meant to stay.
I know your voice can’t promise me warmth or truth or a future.
But still… It was beautiful.

So let this letter be my goodbye.
Not to you—but to the hold your voice had over me.

Thank you for speaking the way you do.
Thank you for reminding me that I still have the capacity to feel, even when it aches.
And thank you—because even as I let go, I will carry the quiet lesson your voice left behind.

I’ll be okay.
And one day, I’ll hear a new voice—maybe my own—stronger than ever, finally free

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I Am Just Trying To Move On

 Dear Your Voice,

I didn’t expect to miss you this much.

Two weeks passed like a quiet pause, and I thought maybe, I was getting better. I thought your absence would dull the feeling, that the silence would help me move on. But then you returned, and just one moment of hearing you again unraveled everything I had carefully tried to pack away.

There’s something about you that feels like a familiar song — soft, warm, and so achingly beautiful that it hurts to listen, and yet I never want to turn it off. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the calm in your tone, the quiet strength that hides beneath it, or the way it gently cuts through the noise of my day. Whatever it is, I find myself clinging to echoes.

But here’s the truth I must face:
I can’t keep loving the sound of something that will never speak to me the way I hope it would.

So, I write this letter not to you — the person — but to your voice. The part of you that lingers when you are long gone. The part of you that didn’t do anything wrong but still holds me hostage in memories.

I will miss you.
I will still turn my head when I hear you.
But little by little, I will teach my heart that loving your voice doesn't mean holding onto you.

Someday, I hope your voice becomes just another sound in the world — a beautiful one, yes, but not the one that breaks me anymore.

With gentleness and goodbye,
Me

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Review Buku: Pasta Kacang Merah Karya Durian Sukegawa

Buku pertama yang aku baca di 2025, buku pertama juga yang bikin aku nangis waktu baca ini. Aku sempat lupa kalau review pertama buku ini yang aku baca dan bikin aku tertarik sama buku ini adalah tentang kehidupan penyandang penyakit lepra. Waktu baca baru inget lagi, "Oh iya, ini kan buku yang waktu itu direkomendasiin karena berhubungan dengan penyandang disabilitas".

Bukan tokoh utamanya yang menyandang Lepra, tapi tokoh yang lain. Tapi dengan itu, kita diajak memahami bagaimana mereka diperlakukan oleh masyarakat. Memang benar, respon pertama manusia saat menghadapi hal yang tidak mereka pahami adalah ketakutan. Dari ketakutan inilah konflik dalam cerita Pasta Kacang Merah ini berawal.

Aku salah satu penggemar Japan-literature. Salah satu kelemahan dari novel-novel populer Jepang adalah slow pace dan kadang monoton. Beberapa ada yang meninggalkan kesan membosankan. Tapi karena Pasta Kacang Merah ini punya konflik yang lumayan besar, ritmenya tidak monoton, tapi cerita ini nggak membosankan untuk dibaca. Bahkan rasanya ringan karena bisa selesai dalam waktu singkat. Meskipun ringan, tapi konfliknya lumayan bisa mengaduk-aduk emosi pembacanya (sesaat ngerasa marah, tapi beberapa halaman berikutnya nangis).

Seperti biasa, novel genre slice of life-nya Jepang itu kadang mengandung ilmu mengenai profesi tertentu. Kalo di buku ini, ada resep membuat pasta kacang merah yang sepertinya kalau diikuti bisa bikin kita menikmati pasta kacang merah yang rasanya enak. Selain itu, terjemahan dari Gramedia ini ternyata tidak seaneh dan semenyebalkan novel terjemahan Asia lain yang pernah saya baca. Membuat trauma saya lumayan berkurang dan sekarang saya bisa mulai mempercayai buku terjemahan Asia terbitannya Gramedia.

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My Story on Becoming Jukjae's Fan

I wrote a long message to a radio station that will talked about my favorite singer. I want to share my insanely long message here 🤭🤭🤭

Good afternoon Aivan, Nive, and the SKP Family,

First of all, thank you for finally talking about Jukjae on Oh My KPop. I not only love listening to Jukjae's songs, but I also love hearing people talk about him. He is so well-known in South Korea, but it's hard to find people who know him internationally.

The first time I listened to Jukjae's music was back in 2017. His mega hits 별 보러 가자 ("Let's Go See the Stars") and View were chosen as the OSTs for Lee Hongbin and Jin Ki Joo's web drama 수요일 오후 3시 30분 (Wednesday 3:30 PM). His voice and the scenes from the drama fit perfectly. Unfortunately, during that time, I thought he was an indie musician specializing in OSTs. I didn’t search much about him and let him become one of my favorite "faceless singers" until 2019, when he released a single called Tattoo. Suddenly, all of his songs and albums appeared on Spotify. It was such a blessed gift to international fans like me.

Since then, I became more and more intense in listening to his songs. But unfortunately, it's been hard to see him perform solo because he wasn’t with a major agency that would give him wide exposure. He diligently worked as a session musician for other artists like Park Hyoshin, Kim Dongryul, IU, Taeyeon, Eunji, etc. The hardest part of being his fan was that, in order to see him on stage, I had to dig deep into other artists’ performances just to catch a glimpse of him. After he signed with Antenna Music in 2019 and decided to "retire" from being a session musician, that's when my hardships as his fan ended. It became much easier to find him on national broadcasts, music variety shows, and even in his own show on Naver Now, 적재의 야간작업실 ("Jukjae's Midnight Studio").

As for the music, it’s hard for me to choose just one song as my favorite.

• Starting with sweet love songs like 사랑한대, 달라 (which is based on his own experience of liking a girl back in the day), 별 보러 가자, 야작시, Tattoo, 동백꿏 (featuring Hyuk of VIXX), 나랑 같이 걸을래, 빛 (featuring Baek Yerin);
• songs that accentuate his storytelling style like The Door, Lullaby, View (the new version on Cliché is my absolute favorite version), 반짝 빛나던, 나의 2006년;
• sorrowful ballads like 달라졌을까, 우리 (featuring The Ade), 그리워; 
• songs that showcase his amazing guitar skills like Runaway, Berklee, I Hate You, 서로의 서로, 꿈, 고백, and all of his amazing performances on Begin Again.

I think I should stop blabbering about Jukjae and let the professionals talk about him more. Once again, thank you for talking about him on Oh My Kpop, and HAPPY 10th DEBUT ANNIVERSARY TO JUKJAE, THE GREATEST.

A bit of trivia about Jukjae: Did you know that Jukjae named his fandom 학부모회 (Parents' Association)? He named us this because he often heard his fans at his concerts say they wanted to see Jukjae grow and become a great artist, like parents nurturing their son. So, in the fandom, we don’t call him "오빠" ("oppa"). We call him "아들" ("son"), regardless of age. (Though one time, a young fan asked him what to call him since she felt awkward calling him 아들 due to their age gap. So he told her to call him "삼춘" ("uncle") instead. We then interchangeably call him 아들 or 삼춘 when talking inside the fandom.)

And... Before anyone says that my English was good, I want to make a disclaimer that I wrote this essay with my minimum English grammar but then asked ChatGPT to proofread it. And guess what?! It compliments my message. It always knows how to make my day 😍😍😍

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